Esme Warned You
by Nacina
Summary: A short, silly one shot a friend requested I write about some misbehaving vampires.


**Esme warned you.**

Bella watched with fascination as her adonis boyfriend Edward and his brother Emmett wrestled. Their mother, Esme, watched on with pursed lips, waiting to yell the instant they came close to breaking anything, as their father Carlisle egged them on silently.

"It's no use Emmett, I can read you like a book, you'll never win," Edward gloated, flipping his taller and far more muscular brother over his shoulder with apparent ease. Emmett grunted as his back smacked into the floor, causing his other half Rosalie to hiss at Edward, who smiled in return. Obviously Edward was paying too much attention to Emmett, because he never saw tiny 4'11 Alice leap from the staircase, her foot connecting with the back of Edward's head and sending him flying out the front window. Bella gasped in shock, and forgetting the Cullen family were vampires, rushed to help her boyfriend. Emmett snickered as Rosalie helped him to his feet, but was quickly silenced by a glare from Esme, who was headed toward Alice.

"That doesn't sound very good," Alice muttered, as a vision of her near future came to her. Throwing a cheeky smile at her family, in the blink of an eye she'd disappeared and the roar of her Porsche could be heard as she sped from the family home.

Esme muttered something in a low voice that Bella couldn't hear, but the rest of the Cullens could. Their faces froze in terror, as Esme stomped off, complaining about how her vampire children couldn't leave something intact just once. She returned, cellphone in hand.

"Edward, you can read minds, where is your sister?" Esme asked in a calm voice. Edward, looking very scared and timid, pointed down the road. Alice hadn't gone far; she just wanted to give the impression she had.

A feral looking smile curled Esme's lips as she dialed a number on her cellphone and placed it to her ear. Edward read her mind, and gasped in horror. Bella barely had a chance to look from Esme to Edward before she found herself strapped into his Volvo, speeding down the highway from the Cullen home, Jasper, Carlisle, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett following suit.

"What's going on?" Bella demanded, panicking as the speedometer hit 120 miles per and kept climbing. She sent a silent prayer to God; just because Edward would be able to walk away if the car crashed, she wouldn't be able to.

The look of terror was still etched upon Edward's face as he looked at Bella. "Last time we made a mess of the house, Esme threatened she'd call in a favour from an old friend if we ever did it again. Well, it looks like she wasn't joking." Even though he didn't even need to breathe, Edward began to hyperventilate.

Bella was about to suggest he calm down, that Esme loved them and that they were all over-reacting, when it happened. In what seemed like forever but was probably only a few seconds. A flash of red appeared on the bonnet of the care, and a very pale face with red eyes grinned in at them through the windshield, as a gun went off. The car began to spin out of control as the horrible face disappeared and more shots could be heard. Bella attempted to grab the steering wheel that Edward lay slumped on, but it was no use. She couldn't do anything at this speed but scream as her life drew to a close.

All of a sudden, Bella felt herself being pulled from the car through the broken windshield; fresh air and sunlight hit her face as she seemed to fly away from the out of control Volvo.

Bella blinked and opened her eyes. It was immediatedly obvious she wasn't on the ground. In fact, it appeared as if she were floating in the treetops. Great, that meant she was dead. Closing her eyes, she took a deep gulp of air, trying not to cry. She was dead, and she had no idea what happened to Edward; he was meant to be invincible, she didn't think a bullet of any nature would be able to do anything.

"Are you OK miss? That must have been a nasty fright master gave you," a girl's voice with a thick Cockney accent asked Bella. Her eyes flew open and she saw a blond head with bright red eyes looking down at her, smiling sheepishly.

"NEWBORN!" Bella screamed, thrashing about to no avail, figuring out she was in the vice like grip of the vampire, being cradled like a baby.

The blond vampire raised her eyebrow in a quizzical manner at Bella, before chuckling. "I don't know what you mean, miss, but I'm Seras Victoria. My master is Alucard, and he's meant to be dealing out punishment to Esme's bratty family. I think we'll be fine up in the tree's though. I'll hold onto you if you don't wriggle too much, so that you won't get hurt too."

At the implication that the Cullens were hurt, Bella craned her neck to look down at the road. Seras Victoria shifted Bella so she could see better. Beneath them, the cars were smashed together, windows and windshields blown out. Feeling sick to her stomach, Bella began to cry softly. She had lived, but life was not worth living without Edward in it. Seras Victoria gave Bella a confused look.

"They aren't hurt bad, miss, just their pride."

Bella wiped her eyes and looked up at Seras, glaring, before bursting into tears again. "Of course they aren't hurt bad, they're DEAD!"

Seras grinned, and Bella began to get panicky again. What kind of sick person but a red eyed vampire grins at the idea of someone dying?

Still smiling, Seras gently settled Bella next to her on the thick tree branch, making sure to keep an arm around her, before pointing across the road, away from the car wreckage. Bella's eyes followed the direction Seras' arm was pointing, and her eyes immediately widened. Then, peals of laughter came from her.

Esme had arrived and was smirking next to the tall vampire with the red hat and cloak, the predator Seras called Alucard. Carlisle, Jasper and Rosalie were hanging from high up tree branches with the world's biggest wedgies, while Alice, Edward and Emmett lay on the ground in a row as Alucard and Esme spanked them with enormous wooden spoons.

Bella's body shook with relief and laughter. She guessed it was true, you don't _ever_ ignore Esme's warnings.


End file.
